Gustavson Family

December 31, 2008 The Ed and Ruth Gustavson family , sadly, lost three of its members in 2008: Doug
Wegemer, March 29th, Cindy Case August 29th and Eleanor Gustavson, December 31st. There were no additions.

Eulogy given by Don Gustavson, her son, at her funeral service
January 8, 2009, Holy Family Catholic Church, Glendale CA
Father Shea, Presiding

First let me, on behalf of the family, thank Fr. Shea for returning to Holy Family and presiding at our Mom’s funeral mass. It was in this church that Mom and Dad were married 64 years ago and it is here that she wished her funeral to be held, with Fr. Shea.

I am up here to share a brief memory of Eleanor Elizabeth Gunn Gustavson, wife of Gene, mother of five, grandmother of 17, great grandmother of 13. College graduate. Southern Belle. Early Disney employee. Business owner. Volunteer extraordinaire. Long time, active member of Sweet Adelines. Friend to everyone she met.

How do we remember someone? Do we count the numbers of friends? Do we list historical dates? Is it jobs held? Career accomplishments? Children Raised? Tragedies endured? Triumphs achieved?

We measure our memory by all of those things in some way but the most telling of memories come from our distinct relationship with that person. Eleanor was married to Eugene, for over 64 years. They had their own special and loving relationship, that grew closer as they grew older together. She was the mother of five and to each of us she was a slightly different mother. She was the grandmother and great-grandmother to 30 and to each of them she was a slightly different granny. Because each connection between two people is unique to that moment and those two individuals.

Therefore, each of us here – friend or family – had a relationship with Eleanor, who I am lucky enough to call Mom. A relationship that was identical to no one else’s. We each of us here have memories of her that no one else has and no one else ever will have. But there, is, I think, a common thread to each of our memories. A connection that has nothing to do with time or space but rather with heart and soul.

I think I can remember Mom best by sharing two vignettes from her life that illuminate her relationships with all around her – which shine a light on her heart and soul. We each might choose something different but whatever we chose would take us to the same spot of admiration for her life. Remember this is not all – not nearly all of my Mom’s life. The reminiscing our family shared around the hospital bed as Mom lay dying, the memories shared at the Vigil, the memories and mementos you will hear and see at the Afterglow this afternoon are all together just a fraction of her wonderful life.

First I remember the stockings. We always have stockings hung at Christmas. A family tradition. As the years have passed we have added to them and this Christmas we had dozens. Stockings for all of the family, of course, whether they were able to be there or not. But also for anyone else who was at Mom and Dad’s house for our Christmas celebration. Mom insisted that there be a stocking with small gifts for everyone. And there was always someone else – a boy friend or girl friend, an exchange student, a roommate. And they would get a stocking with the same things we all got – paper clips, candy, rubber bands, playing cards, pencils, pens, cheap flashlights. All the necessities of life.

No one in the family ever hesitated to invite someone to Grandma and Grandpa’s house for Christmas because they knew they would be welcome and they knew they would get a stocking. We all will brag a little about the insanity of 40 or 50 people overflowing out of the living room while opening presents and riffling through stockings. We were very proud of that few hours of Christmas Chaos through which swirled a lot of Love.

My Second memory is the Songs. No one particular song but all the songs that filled her and our lives. She loved to sing and she loved beautiful singing. She sang to us when we were little, as she did to our children and to their children. Her greatest passion outside of her family was her singing with Sweet Adelines. She loved to get up on stage in full, glittery costume wearing tons of glittery make-up, with long false eyelashes and sing in beautiful complex harmony. She loved to practice hard and sing in competition. She loved the friendships and the good times with her band of sisters, but most of all singing filled her with happiness – and in song she was fulfilled.

Stockings and songs. Those are my sweet memories. Stockings filled with love for all. Songs filled with joy in life. To our wonderful father who was devoted to his beloved wife we also offer these memories and all this love, because it was their love that made it possible.

May we all remember Eleanor with love and joy and do our best to pass that love and joy on to others. I expect if I am fortunate enough to arrive where I finally hear the choirs of angels sing, that she will be there in full voice. And I will know her by the extra glitter on her wings. We love you Mom.

January 8, 2009 We conducted funeral services and had a celebration of life, afterwards, for Eleanor Gunn Gustavson who passed away December 31, 2008. The services filled the church with her large family and many friends present. The funeral services, conducted by Father Shea at the Holy Family Catholic Church, in Glendale CA, was the same church she and Gene, her husband, were married in November 26, 1944. Beside her Husband, Eleanor is survived by five children, 16 grand children, 14 great grand children and 7 current and ex spouses of children

ELEANOR ELIZABETH (GUNN) GUSTAVSON
September 14, 1920 – December 31, 2008

It is hard to put in writing how I feel about the death of my dear wife, Eleanor, after over 64 years of delightful marriage. But I’ll make the effort because I’ll miss her terribly. I was sort of hoping we’d be together six more years to make our marriage 70 years and I’d reach the century mark in age. But, it was a dream not to be.

Although, she was outgoing and tended to openly express her emotions and made many friends along the way, I tended to be far more reserved. In many ways, we were polar opposites in that regard. Maybe, that’s why our marriage got along so well? Almost never in the 64 years of marriage was there a serious argument and disagreements were a minimum.

I tended to overlook anything I viewed as her faults and she certainly must have overlooked my many faults which I readily admit. For that trait she harbored, I’ll forever be very thankful. I’m sure she put up with my shortcomings out of our mutual love for each other.

From 1945 to 1954, we had five wonderful , loving children, four boys Don, Dick, Ralph , Bob (Bart) and one girl, Patti Jo.. Every one were with her when she passed away and had she been aware of their presence, she would be overjoyed with the concern and love they expressed.

She did a wonderful job of looking after them during their formative years and not only loved them very much until her death but was always concerned with the wellbeing of each of them and their families. As a wife and mother, no one that ever lived who could have done a better job. For the sacrifices and care she always undertook, I’ll forever be grateful.

Her health had been in a slow, painful decline for the last five years of her life. That something was wrong became apparent when she passed out in the DMV restroom while waiting to renew her driving license in September 2003. We took her to Verdugo Hills Urgent Care and , after examination, sent her by ambulance to the Glendale Memorial Hospital Emergency Room. After examination, the ER doctor admitted her for further hospital treatment and evaluation.

At that time and since, she was diagnosed as suffering with congestive heart failure, poor kidney function and other evidence of marginal health. Despite, those problems, she regained a fairly normal life, renewed her driver license and continued many of her normal life routines. But her gradual declining health caused her much discomfort and much pain very difficult to bear. It became worse the last couple years before her death and she mentioned a few times she just couldn’t bear it any longer.

She had a pacemaker implanted in September 2004 and her collapsing knee operated on in April 2008 which allowed her to move around without confinement to a wheelchair..

I did as much as I could; but not enough, to make her life as comfortable as possible. I wish I could have done more to ease her discomfort and pain the last few years. I will forever regret not taking action to delay the ablation procedure the doctor wanted to perform as her pulse had returned to a normal range the last two weeks and I wondered if the procedure was really necessary. She also was apprehensive about the procedure but we thought it was pretty routine and would benefit some of her health problems.

Unfortunately, how wrong we were as had the procedure not been performed, I’m sure she would have had several months, if not years, of life remaining. As discomfort and painful for her those months or years might have been, at least she would still be with us.

Without explaining her health problems, in detail or chronologically, over the last five years, I have recorded them, as “EGGMED” in Lotus format, and would be happy to print out a copy for anyone who can’t access the Lotus file on the computer

The love and affection shown by her children, grand children, great grand children and many friends during her final illness and passing services was beyond comprehension. All of her family worked so hard to be sure her services reflected their love for her. For those contributions, I am very grateful.

Goodbye Dear Eleanor.
We will always have our love for you and won’t forget you the rest of our lives.
Your Husband, Gene
All your Children, Grandchildren, Great Grand-Children and Friends

December 28, 2008 Eleanor Gustavson is in the Critical Care Center of Glendale Memorial Hospital for tests and treatment following discovery that she had developed fluid around her heart. This resulted following heart ablation and cardioversion procedures performed December 22nd in an effort to control pulse rate and reduce dependency on some medication.

December 31, 2008 Eleanor passed away at age 88. Her birth date is September 20, 1920