Eulogy given by Don Gustavson, her son, at her funeral service
January 8, 2009, Holy Family Catholic Church, Glendale CA
Father Shea, Presiding
First let me, on behalf of the family, thank Fr. Shea for returning to Holy Family and presiding at our Mom’s funeral mass. It was in this church that Mom and Dad were married 64 years ago and it is here that she wished her funeral to be held, with Fr. Shea.
I am up here to share a brief memory of Eleanor Elizabeth Gunn Gustavson, wife of Gene, mother of five, grandmother of 17, great grandmother of 13. College graduate. Southern Belle. Early Disney employee. Business owner. Volunteer extraordinaire. Long time, active member of Sweet Adelines. Friend to everyone she met.
How do we remember someone? Do we count the numbers of friends? Do we list historical dates? Is it jobs held? Career accomplishments? Children Raised? Tragedies endured? Triumphs achieved?
We measure our memory by all of those things in some way but the most telling of memories come from our distinct relationship with that person. Eleanor was married to Eugene, for over 64 years. They had their own special and loving relationship, that grew closer as they grew older together. She was the mother of five and to each of us she was a slightly different mother. She was the grandmother and great-grandmother to 30 and to each of them she was a slightly different granny. Because each connection between two people is unique to that moment and those two individuals.
Therefore, each of us here – friend or family – had a relationship with Eleanor, who I am lucky enough to call Mom. A relationship that was identical to no one else’s. We each of us here have memories of her that no one else has and no one else ever will have. But there, is, I think, a common thread to each of our memories. A connection that has nothing to do with time or space but rather with heart and soul.
I think I can remember Mom best by sharing two vignettes from her life that illuminate her relationships with all around her – which shine a light on her heart and soul. We each might choose something different but whatever we chose would take us to the same spot of admiration for her life. Remember this is not all – not nearly all of my Mom’s life. The reminiscing our family shared around the hospital bed as Mom lay dying, the memories shared at the Vigil, the memories and mementos you will hear and see at the Afterglow this afternoon are all together just a fraction of her wonderful life.
First I remember the stockings. We always have stockings hung at Christmas. A family tradition. As the years have passed we have added to them and this Christmas we had dozens. Stockings for all of the family, of course, whether they were able to be there or not. But also for anyone else who was at Mom and Dad’s house for our Christmas celebration. Mom insisted that there be a stocking with small gifts for everyone. And there was always someone else – a boy friend or girl friend, an exchange student, a roommate. And they would get a stocking with the same things we all got – paper clips, candy, rubber bands, playing cards, pencils, pens, cheap flashlights. All the necessities of life.
No one in the family ever hesitated to invite someone to Grandma and Grandpa’s house for Christmas because they knew they would be welcome and they knew they would get a stocking. We all will brag a little about the insanity of 40 or 50 people overflowing out of the living room while opening presents and riffling through stockings. We were very proud of that few hours of Christmas Chaos through which swirled a lot of Love.
My Second memory is the Songs. No one particular song but all the songs that filled her and our lives. She loved to sing and she loved beautiful singing. She sang to us when we were little, as she did to our children and to their children. Her greatest passion outside of her family was her singing with Sweet Adelines. She loved to get up on stage in full, glittery costume wearing tons of glittery make-up, with long false eyelashes and sing in beautiful complex harmony. She loved to practice hard and sing in competition. She loved the friendships and the good times with her band of sisters, but most of all singing filled her with happiness – and in song she was fulfilled.
Stockings and songs. Those are my sweet memories. Stockings filled with love for all. Songs filled with joy in life. To our wonderful father who was devoted to his beloved wife we also offer these memories and all this love, because it was their love that made it possible.
May we all remember Eleanor with love and joy and do our best to pass that love and joy on to others. I expect if I am fortunate enough to arrive where I finally hear the choirs of angels sing, that she will be there in full voice. And I will know her by the extra glitter on her wings. We love you Mom.
